my birthday eve

Tomorrow is my big day, but we celebrated with a birthday eve cake tonight. Evan has his last day of first grade tomorrow and Markas will be at work. And I am not exactly feeling too festive while I recooperate from Friday's events... so a birthday eve celebration seemed fitting.

Number 5 is alive!

I keep saying to myself I will blog when I have time to really sit down and formulate my thoughts. I will blog when something profound pops into my head. I will blog when I am not so tired or my brain isn't so fuzzy. Alas, that strategy hasn't worked out so well for my blog. So I am just going to jump in and do some "free blogging"... put down what is running through my brain synapses right now.

I am having what I refer to as a heart tune-up this Friday. The cardiac surgeon essentially is going to bust out specialized jumper cables that fit inside a human heart. The general consensus seems to be that my heart's electrical system is 'short circuiting' most likely due to an extra 'circuit board'. Therefore the plan is to go into my heart and zap that extra circuit board and any other areas of my heart that are misfiring until they put their hands up and surrender.

This latest cardiac adventure began Monday the 17th of this month. I made a trip to the local ER with a heart racing between 215 and 240 beats per minute. (This was a new record for me by the way.) My racing episode lasted close to an hour and maybe would have continued even longer, but I was given an injection of Adenosine which the ER staff was hopeful would stop my heart. Yes this was their desired outcome! And so it went that my heart stopped beating... 220 to 0 in about 5 seconds... the monitor reading flat as a flattened pancake. I focused on my breathing, but couldn't help but notice that the doctor and the nurse were holding their breath and waiting for the monitor to beep again with signs of life. "Number 5 is alive!" ; ) And thanks to the amazing human heart and the marvels of modern medicine, my run-away ticker reset itself to a much more appropriate and livable heart rate... my heart 'marathon' was over.

A mere nine business days after my ER trip I will get my heart zapped in hopes of preventing more short circuiting. I was trying to focus on the positive and tell myself at least I would get a nice nap out of the deal. Then I discovered that I will be awake for the heart zapping stuff. I consider this turn of events to be cruel and unusual punishment and I may stage a protest ; ) But what gripes me the most (warning: tangent!) is how these doctors always tell patients how things will feel or how much we should or shouldn't be concerned. Well I frankly call bullsh*t Mr./Ms. MD! If you have never experienced [fill in the blank] yourself then don't tell me or any other patient how to feel and what level of panic to be on. If I want to be on death con 5 you just better prepare yourself for my death con 5! My husband could give you some survival tips... ; )

Don't bother me... I'm marinating.

(or Back to the Heart of things) One of the many lessons I have learned from my years of adventures as a medically-challenged person is that I have a wide array of ways I handle my challenges. I employ a well stocked arsenal of coping mechanisms and pass through a vast spectrum of feelings and phases.

This quote does a great job of describing my current phase.

When an illness knocks you on your ass, you should stay and relax for a while before trying to get back up. ~Terri Guillemets

I most often refer to this phase as my marinating phase. It is my time to process and absorb... to try to let things such be. It's hard to predict what phase will be next in my latest medically-challenged adventure. Guess we all get to wait and see ; )

another soccer season in the books

Evan #25

Evan's 6th soccer season came to an end yesterday. A two day jamboree was a perfect way to wrap up the season. Due to a week of stormy weather the jamboree playoffs were held in a nearby indoor facility. Markas was Evan's team coach and he also took on the position of unofficial director of the U7 boys. He did a great job in his role as Coach Markas.

Oh, and Evan was super thrilled that his teacher Mrs. Snow came to see him play during the jamboree.

(click on images to enlarge)

In the Fall Evan will move up to the U8 Academy group. This means bigger fields, bigger goals with a goalies, and referees to oversee games. Evan has expressed interest in trying football in the Fall (by the way this makes his mom very nervous) so we will have to see how things shape up next season in the world of sports...

quote of the day

"Sometimes the best way to figure out who you are is to get to that place where you don't have to be anything else." -unknown

...

This is from the birthday card I got my mom last month. Loved the quote so much I scanned it into the computer so I could share it : )

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

and to all the moms (and motherly souls) in my life

it's good to be a girl

Girly ATC Swap

I didn't know when I joined this swap that it would be my last SIStv ATC swap ever. SIStv is going off the air on May 15th after three years. SIS and the "SISters" there opened a lot of creative windows for me and I am very happy to have been a part of the SIS experience.

made a 4 x 6 envelope for each ATC out of paper sacks that I spray painted pink

front of card
back of card

(click on images to enlarge)

what a difference 6 hours makes

My lovely friend Kate invited me to go with her to Sparks, Kansas this past weekend for a big antique/flea market. The flea market is an old town complete with blocks of houses and old stores. There is only about 9 people that currently live in this town year around. But the town comes to life with an estimated 75,000 people pouring in over the 4 day event. Parking is located in the farm fields (although we scouped up a great parking spot in town).

here are a few of the highlights from our trip:

1. roadtripping without kids

2. passing a team of storm chasers including a "tank" car on the way to Kansas

3. seeing great old barns! (Kate & I share of love of barns)

4. forgetting half of my clothes

5. staying at a Best Western that wasn't so best ; )

6. people greeting us, engaging in friendly conversation, making eye contact, smiling! What a difference driving 6 hours can make.

6. finding the rolling hills surprising quite scenic

7. solving the problems of the world in a minivan ; )

8. discovering treasures off the beaten path

9. experiencing the spirit of adventure... without a GPS system I might add ; )

10. funnel cake

I have to say that I have a big crush on Kansas right now. Remove the AR from Arkansas and presto you get an entirely more pleasant vibe. Strange how that works.

...

**check out Kate's blog for more about our trip including pictures**

Change a lifetime.

more info here:

www.projectpinwheel.org

I have pinwheels happily spinning in my front yard. Each represents one of the seven foster children I have helped as a CASA.