150 Years After Fort Sumter: Why We're Still Fighting the Civil War

a must-read article 150 Years After Fort Sumter: Why We're Still Fighting the Civil War

Live with Less

http://www.theproject333.com/

I am going to give this a shot. I have been planning to sort through my wardrobe and I like the idea of this. 33 items (capsules) for each of the seasons. Now I need to see how it translates to reality for me. I am in purge mode. Simplify. Recently I've had the urge to empty all of the stuff in my house and start over. Simplify. Keep it simple. Chalk it up to intense Spring Fever. Or the need to control things that I can control because there are so many other things out of my control. Purging/organizing is therapeutic. And yes I am totally aware that this is a phase. I swing back and forth between purging and collecting modes. Such is the cycle of me ; ) Not so simple.

Joy & Pain

CASA News

Tomorrow is adoption day for a sweet baby boy. My friend BJ has fought for this little guy every step of the way. He is joining a loving family that has sacraficed so much to make this adoption possible. Joy!

Tomorrow is the funeral for a young man (19) that grew up in the foster care system. It seemed as if life never really dealt this kid a decent hand. He took his own life on Monday. His CASA was the closest thing to family that he had for almost a decade.

Pain!

Very soon I will be attending the adoption hearing of one of my CASA kids. It is a day I have hoped for longer than any day in recent times. Joy!

Mudfest 2011

Evan played his first game in the U10 group this morning. The field was a muddy mess with a deep pit of mud at center field. Evan was thrilled. I often tell him if he finishes a game with a clean uniform, he didn't play hard enough. Today he played hard : )

Running onto the field to start the game, Evan was beaming with excitement. action shot Evan played the first half of the game as a mid-fielder.

action shot Evan is a pro when it comes to drop kicks. He played the second half of the game as the goalie, his first time in that position.

lost shoe epidemic - several shoes got sucked off by the mud

Evan's very first throw-in as goalie

another throw in

post-game posing

The other kids on his team are 9 and 10 years old. Evan fit right in even as the youngest kid. I was proud that he took on the goalie position with gusto and poise. The U10 fields are bigger and the game time is longer so conditioning will come into play. The boy needs to run like he is Forest Gump! ...and learn to love it : )

Girl Interrupted part 2

left hand tingly, then completely numb

sudden dull headache

very tired and weak

tipsy behavior with slightly slurred speech

strange sensation rising up neck

shortness of breath

This was my stroke. Strokes are as individual as the people who have them. Mine was weird in that I have felt way worse on many occasions, but this was different and deep down I knew it. I didn't want to go to the ER that evening. I didn't want to be dismissed, invalidated as has often happened in the past. I called my parents crying. My dad answered the phone and he knew I should have my symptoms checked out at the ER. My brother Scot drove me. As I stood at the ER admissions desk, some of my doubt left me. I decided I had either had a heart attack or a stroke. I told the nurse and ER doctor exactly that and asked for several specific tests. I wasn't messing around and I wasn't playing nice! When the doctor came back with his diagnosis, he showed genuine disbelief. "Surprise. It looks like you had a stroke. It's on the right side. We should know more after more tests." He rushed out of the room as quickly as he entered. Markas was with me by this time. After having a short meltdown, my thoughts were two-fold... I'm 35 years old! And how am I going to tell my mom?

The word stroke first entered my life at the age of seven. My mom's mother had a severe stroke in the left side of her brain. I learned well what a stroke could do to a person and those around them. (A horrible yet apparently very valuable lesson it seems now.) I learned the symptoms and causes. I knew my mom was terrified of having a stroke herself and needing others to care for her. The morning after my ER visit, I was officially a resident of the hospital, the neurologist had confirmed the stroke diagnosis, and I had to call and tell my mom that I had a 'S word'. (In my family the 'C word' is cancer and the 'S word' is stroke.)

It took about four weeks to piece together the full picture of my stroke. There was a lack of communication and conflicting opinions while I was in the hospital. Dare I say there was a lack of concern for the seriousness of my situation. Last week I had a follow-up with the neurologist that filled in a lot of the blanks. Basically if you are going to have a stroke, the type I had was the 'good kind'. Yet it happened in a 'not so good place'. It happened in a deeper part of the brain instead of the more common peripheral location. The good news was that it was not as likely to reoccur. The not so good news was my symptoms would be longer lasting. My stroke wasn't caused by a blood clot as originally diagnosed. A blood vessel in my brain closed off and ruptured at the tip leaving a tiny hole in my brain. What had been labeled as a small or mini stroke was in fact a moderate stroke that was caught very early on before more damage was done. Here is the kicker, my stroke was caused by untreated high blood pressure and could have been prevented with a single pill a day. This enraged me. Since October I have been pleading with my primary care doctor (and more recently my cardiologist) to treat my HBP. It wasn't off the charts mind you, but over a long period of time even mild/moderate high blood pressure can wreck havoc on a body. (I have had HBP since I was 8 years old! Caused by a rare heriditary condition that had gone undiagnosed in my grandmother and other family members. It periodically worsens to the point where I need medication.) So while I sat in the neurologists office, he called my cardiologist and asked him to recommend a HBP medication for me. It only took a stroke and gaining a neurologist to get a $15 prescription to help control my high blood pressure. It makes me sick to think too much about that... : / (FYI - I switched primary care doctors.)

One 'fun' part of my stroke is the discovery of seemingly random effects. Residual effects keep popping up. For example I found out several days after returning home from the hospital that I had great difficulty reading aloud or doing hidden object puzzles. I also flip letters around in words all the time and it may take me three or four tries for my brain to unscramble things so it makes sense. I still don't have full sensation on the left side of my body. The neurologist advises me that it should return within three to six months, however whatever symptoms remain after six months are likely to be permanent.

So that brings things up to date I think. All I need is a shirt that says "I had a stroke. What's your excuse?" ; ) By the way, May is stroke awareness month. Please read up and share the causes and symptoms of a stroke. Reacting quickly is key! More women than men have strokes. Strokes can happen at any age.

Girl Interrupted part 1

I sat down yesterday with only a sheet of white paper, a black pen and my trusty colors to create a simple artistic representation of my stroke experience. Here's what came out. For some reason a fork came to mind as a way to illustrate my right side stroke... a fork stabbing my brain. Interesting maybe because the right side of our brain houses much of our creative tendencies.